Funny squirrel stories?

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Funny squirrel stories....?


I was taking the trash out (I live in an apt, and we have a dumptser) and there was a neighbor getting into her car. I put the boxes in the dumpster, and then a surprising thud hit my chest hard. I screamed loudly in surprise. I looked to see a glimpse of a squirrel running away from the dumpster. I turn around and the neighbor is looking at me like ';WTF?';





I said, ';Did you see that squirrel?'; She said, ';No.'; I said, ';It hit me!';





and she said ';Squirrels and......'; and went in the car. Now I'm thinking, what else is in that dumpster? I see cats go in there sometimes! LOL and where I live squirrels are not as scared of people!





Anyone have any funny squirrel stories to share?Funny squirrel stories?
Angry squirrel





I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect.





I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me.





It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me.





I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves!





Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes.





His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, ';Bonzai!'; or maybe, ';Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!'; The leap was nothing short of spectacular...





He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack.





Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!





Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing...





I grabbed for him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed to snag his tail. With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there.





It really should have.





The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel.





This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH! Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather antisocial and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all.





His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled, to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result.





Torque.





This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in . well .. I just plain screamed.





Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, and roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back.





The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike.





This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle...my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect against the massive power of the big cruiser.





About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my full-face helmet with me.





As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed intensity. It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed out (since I was not bothering with shifting at the moment), so her front end started to drop.





Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very raggedly torn T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on oneFunny squirrel stories?
i was walking home from school and


next to a tree was a squirrel and a black bird (dnt kno what their called)


and that Black Bird was tryin to eat the squirrels food and it was tryin to get close and the squirrel wasnt lettin it


they kept jumping as soon the bird would get close it was funny!
Up at my college campus in Boulder Colorado alot of the squirrels know that no one will bother them so they're not afraid of people. My friend's dorm had a balcony and since the dorms had no AC he'd just leave the slide door cracked at night when he slept. A squirrel came in and raided his room one night.
i boarded up an opening on my house cause they were living in there, later i heard one inside raising cane , had to open it back up to let him out and then board it back ,you oughtta seen em next day, mad as heck cause they could not get in.
This past christmas for a couple of weeks on my break, I put peanut butter along the rail of my sliding glass door :]





I took some pretty cool pictures too.





http://s664.photobucket.com/albums/vv1/k鈥?/a>
I hit a squirrel on my dirt bike at about 50mph and went air born over the handle bars.


Here's a good drunk squirrel vid for ya, hilarious.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikH9ZRcF鈥?/a>
Lol, my french teacher feeds this squirrel everyday, she went to give it a granola bar and it bit her finger
just the normal squirrel stuff. we had one called nip, because he had a little piece of his ear missing. he would come up on our front stairs and I would feed him peanut butter from a spoon. he was really cute.